A father of the groom speech that engages everyone present
Father of the groom speeches vary incredibly and there is no one way to write one. What matters when you are writing your speech is that you consider the whole context of the wedding at which you're speaking.
There are cultural differences, religious differences, personality differences, family differences, and the unique aspects of the specific bride and groom on whose behalf you are speaking, to consider. Even the venue and the setting of the wedding makes a difference to what you will include in your father of the groom speech.
I'm not going to give you a specific script, therefore, because that would be an insult to your bride and groom. Rather I will guide you through some key principles that you can apply to your father of the groom speech and encourage you to make it a very personal and unique speech.
However, if you are still desperately looking for a sample of a father of the groom speech we do include one in our master of ceremonies e-book "The beginner's guide to being a brilliant master of ceremonies". There is a whole section on weddings and we include a sample father of the bride speech for you.
We still don't want you to use that father of the groom speech word for word though! Your special speech needs to be in your words, for it to feature your memories, and for it to be your sentiments. Start writing now!
Father of the groom speech: Don't make people cringe
I always have one example of a father of the groom speech stuck in my mind, because it was so bad it made everyone at the wedding cringe.
Your role in giving the father of the groom speech is not to make the guests in the bridal party and wedding reception cringe but for them to feel proud of the groom and happy for him.
The father of the groom speech that I'm referring to was so bad because the father kept on making references to weird things that he thought about his son. He kept implying criticism and making suggestive statements about his sexuality as a younger child.
I think that he was trying to say he was relieved that his son had got married, but he said it in such a roundabout and awkward way it was dreadful and we were all acutely embarrassed.
His son was a wonderful citizen, a skilled professional and a gorgeous looking man and much loved by everybody. Consequently, the comments made in the father of the groom speech came as a complete surprise and seemed totally out of place.
The speech put a very dull cast over the whole wedding celebration. Fortunately, the wedding MC and the person giving the next wedding speech lifted up the spirits of everybody and returned the celebration to happiness. That's the feeling that should have been there all the time.
In your father of the groom speech your job is to convey your happiness and pride in your son and his bride, it is not for you to stir up doubts from the past.
If you want to include stories of your son, please choose the stories that put him in a good light. They can be funny stories, they can be serious stories, they can be touching stories. Whatever happens, though, your job in the father of the groom speech is to elevate the position of the groom in the bride's eyes and in the hearts of all the wedding guests.
In conclusion, this father of the groom speech tip is very simple. Tell positive stories about the groom.
Father of the groom speech: Keep it short
Please keep your speech short. It is so tempting to ramble on, to start off with a big preamble, to give a lot of history, and to keep on talking for too long, but all of that can become meaningless.
Instead, select out the key points that you want to make and choose one really good story that puts your son in a wonderful light.
Do not say everything that you want to say because that will be far too long. There must be many wedding guests who have groaned as the father of the groom speeches ramble on and become too long. There are many wedding speeches and yours is only one of them.
If your speech is too long then the energy at the wedding reception will fall. This is not a desirable outcome. You are there to raise the energy.
How long should your father of the groom speech be? You may be interested to hear that at one wedding I went to the bride had told everybody that no wedding speech, including the father of the groom speech, could be more than three minutes. The father of the groom did his speech in three minutes, sat down, and said "I did it in three minutes like I was told to!" and everybody laughed.
In conclusion, this father of the groom speech tip is very simple. Keep your speech short, no matter how much you would like to say. Ten minutes is usually the maximum, and five minutes probably even better.
Father of the groom speech: Prepare
Please prepare your father of the groom speech in advance. Many fathers of the groom think that they can wing it on the day because they know so much about their son and his upbringing. However, you really must prepare the speech because you do know so much.
Otherwise, on the day, it will be hard to pick out the things that are most relevant, unless you are a highly skilled, experienced and professional speaker.
How you prepare will depend upon your style of speaking and how experienced you are at public speaking. The traditional speech format is to have a beginning, a middle and an end. You may want to stick with this as a structure for your father of the groom speech.
Alternatively, you may simply prepare a series of bullet points so you know the key points that you want to make. And then add in one key story about the groom.
Father of the groom speech: Know your key point
I suggest strongly that you choose three key points to say, as a maximum. You do not have any time to do more than that.
The best speakers know what they're going to say. They say it at the beginning, they say it during the speech, and then they repeat it at the end.
This therefore means that your father of the groom speech may only have one key message. The key message is often to make sure your son knows how much he means to you.
For example, your one key message may go something along the lines of, "I am deeply proud of my son and so pleased that he has found a bride who brings him such happiness. They make such a wonderful, loving pair together, how could I as the father of the groom be anything but over the moon". Do not try to say too much
In conclusion, this father of the groom speech tip is very simple. Stick to one positive key message which expresses your pride in your son and delight in his happiness.
Father of the groom speech: Welcome your daughter-in-law
Finally, remember to include a heartfelt welcome to your new daughter-in-law.
Unless the mother of the groom has also spoken and welcomed the bride into your family, it is typically left to the father of the groom to embrace the bride as a new family member.
Make the bride feel special, make her few welcomed and make her feel appreciated, so that she gains a true sense of belonging to her new family. This is one of the key reasons that the father of the groom gives a speech.
There is so much more that I could say about father of the groom speeches. These tips are only the beginning of what you need to know. I recommend you now read the e-book "The beginner's guide to being a brilliant MC", so you can gain a comprehensive selection of further ideas on how to engage an audience, and how to thank people as part of the wedding day speeches. There is also a sample father of the groom speech in the book for you.
May your pride in your son be felt by all at the wedding, and may you give a brilliant father of the groom speech that provides all with a happy and lasting memory of the wedding.